Spiders 3D (2013) | Don’t get caught in the web of this Crap Giant Insect sci-fi

Spiders 3D

THE SPIDER QUEEN FROM OUTER SPACE?
New York City is placed under quarantine when a Soviet space station breaks up over the metropolis, releasing a mutant species of venomous spider which start growing while spinning a web for their new queen. But the precious egg has fallen into the hands of a transit worker (Patrick Muldoon) and his ex-wife (Christa Campbell), whose daughters are being held hostage by rogue elements within the military, which want the egg to create a new kind of super weapon.

Patrick Muldoon in Spiders

GET ME OUT OF HERE!
With promises of giant arachnids causing mass destruction of Manhattan in eye-popping 3D, this should have been a most egg-cellent sci-fi adventure. But it’s no better than any of the other budget creature features that director Tibor Takács or production company Nu Image have done for the Syfy channel.

Filmed in Bulgaria, the entire movie – which consists of lots of running around – takes place on the set of a replica New York street scene draped in badly painted signage and populated by a handful of bored-looking extras. Patrick Muldoon, whose no stranger to battling bug-eyed monsters, having starred in Starship Troopers as well as Takacs’ equally dreadful Ice Spiders, is the 3D film’s big-name star, while Christa Campbell surely deserves a Razzie award for worst performance ever – she can’t even whimper convincingly.

Patrick Muldoon in Spiders

The CGI spiders are OK but look cartoon-like even in 2D, while the film’s big-set piece in which the big bad momma spider rises up from her subterranean lair is just laughable – she looks about as menacing as Alice in Wonderland’s grinning Cheshire cat. If it hadn’t taken itself so seriously, this could have been as much fun as Sharknado (which also out on DVD this month), but its so woeful that it ranks worse than 1975’s The Giant Spider Invasion, which tried to pass off VW Beetles covered in fur for its oversized arachnids, but remains far more entertaining.

THE RELEASE
Spiders 3D is available on 2D DVD and 3D Blu-ray from Lionsgate UK, which includes a ‘Making of featurette, and interviews with the cast and crew. Read more on Facebook.

THE VERDICT
Give this Crap Giant Insect sci-fi the flick.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4bjDV1OC0I%5D

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About Peter Fuller

Peter Fuller is an award-winning print, radio and television journalist and producer, with over 30 years experience covering film and television, with a special interest in world cinema and popular culture. He is a leading expert on the life and career of Vincent Price and actively promotes the actor's legacy through publications, websites and special events.

Posted on October 13, 2013, in Maybe Miss, Sci-Fi and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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